The trials and tribulations of raising and educating a profoundly gifted girl.
17 Jun
Archie’s doing a lot of telling me what she knows I want to hear. Sadly, it appears that very little of it is the true state of affairs.
She’s being pulled out for a maths group with a handful of other kids. She was telling me about this the other day and said she’d been working with square numbers which she enjoys even if she has known about them for quite some time. She proudly told me that she got all of the them right and that the teacher they worked with told her how good she was at math.
Nope. Didn’t happen. She did get them all right but the teacher didn’t compliment her.
She’s been finishing her work and has been the first one finished. This is a HUGE step for Archie who is constantly being told off at school for not producing. Anyway, I thought that things were going well.
The other day after a school, a number of Archie’s friends came out with her with stickers on their chests. I asked Archie what they were for and she said for finishing their work. Why didn’t you get one? Because I never do mum.
Archie’s folder hasn’t moved from the place where it was on the teacher’s desk 2 weeks ago. Archie’s substitute teacher has told me that she’s struggling with basic concepts that I know she isn’t.
Archie and I were discussing all of this (especially the stretching of the truth bit) yesterday and she said she was invisible to the teachers.
She’s not a teacher pleaser. She doesn’t get her work done quickly and then race up for a sticker or a pat on the head. She doesn’t get acknowledged for trying. She doesn’t get acknowledged for knowing ‘stuff’. Thankfully we don’t have behavioural issues as she’s more likely to vague out than act up – so instead of being recognised in any way she gets mostly ignored. Coupled this with a curriculum that’s inappropriate and a teacher who can’t control the kids in her class, fragile social groups, an understanding of human nature well beyond her years and it makes for a pretty sad little person.
This is what happened to me. You try…you get ignored…you stop trying. Either way the outcome is the same. She’s not learning. I’m trying to juggle my life, my school, the needs of the other family members, and teaching Archie new information before and after school.
I know that last years teacher, God love her, was confused because Archie didn’t fit the ‘gifted child’ category that Mrs T had learnt about. This is what amazes me. You are gifted therefore you’re all the same.
Here’s news. We’re not. There are a vast range of differences between people on the gifted spectrum. Just like there’s a vast range of differences between people on the less abled spectrum. Just because 10 people are 6ft tall doesn’t mean they’re all the same in every aspect. They just happen to have commonalities. And the problem for kid’s like Archie is that most teachers will never have seen one before. They’ll have seen lots of bright children. Lots of kids that want to get their work done and love stickers and A’s and all the rest. But they wont’ come across many (if any) kids who are light years ahead of their peers and learn for the love of learning – not for any extrinsic award.
I’m over it. I’m over the whole education system. I’m over fighting. I don’t want another 8 years of this. I’m tired of it already.
Archie’s Mum
8 Responses for "Invisible"
man it just is not fair at all! That poor girl and poor parents you guys are. The system is not out to help everyone and that is hopeless
I don’t think I have anything of use to offer except *hugs*
Sometimes life sucks
Thanks Cleo. I know there’s worse things in the world but this is heart breaking.
Mim - thank you. As I said to Cleo - I know there’s worse things in the world…I currently have an aunt in Melbourne who’s been put into hospital because of cancer and it’s pretty certain she won’t be coming back out again. Still, this is our reality and it’s something that we’re having to live with each day. I just wish she was one of those bright, bubbly, peppy kids who was just bright enough to perform…or perhaps if she wasn’t such an introvert like her mother.
I think I need a holiday from everything at the moment.
Thanks for the hugs though - was nice.
N
That stupid mold that we’re all supposed to fit into needs to be smashed!! I wish I could magic some of Bolshie Boy’s behaviour over for Archie to unleash at school. Let’s see them ignore her then!! Research seems to show that gifted boys get ‘picked up’ and ‘noticed’ more than gifted girls because of their behaviour, but even with all that research identifying the issue, nothing seems to have come out about how to get teachers to ‘notice’ the gifted girls that don’t act out or play the teachers pet game.
Big hugs from me too.
Natalie
Hey Nat
You know I read your comments about there are worse things in the world but there are NOT worse things in YOUR WORLD
I am so sorry that she feels she neeeds to hide the truth from you and I know she doesn’t do it cause she doesn’t want or trust you to know …poor darling in all of this is still trying to protect you
I wish I could bop some of those teachers over the head for you but I don’t think it will change anything
Hugs to you and I hope you get a time (even a week) to not have any issues and then you can relax a touch
love ya mate
Natalie,
Thanks…you’re so true about the difference in the sexes. Gifted girls go underground…gifted boys fight against the system. Just once I’d love for her to have a melt down at school like she does at home after weeks upon weeks of being intellectually bored to death and beyond. Like you said, they’d notice her then.
I never played the teacher’s pet game - it’s just not in my make up. I was normally the one that challenged the teachers - some were ok with it…most weren’t.
Thanks for your hugs mate…appreciate it.
Nat
Thanks Kath. And yes, she is protecting me. When we ask her why she says it she says that it’s because it’s what the teacher’s say to the other kids and she doesn’t want me to be hurt or angry.
I told BoyWonder last night that I need a break but it’s a rough time of year at uni so there’s not a break in sight for the next 5 months. Just something else to suck up and keep moving with. At least I’ve got the blog here and can just rant.
Thanks for the support - appreciate it - really.
Nat
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