I wrote to our wonderful psych the other day to give her an update on where we’re at with Archie and she wrote back with

“well - looks like the roller coaster is speeding along there!Why can it never be easy? I guess to stretch the analogy - we ride the crests with exhilaration and weather the depths with a strong feeling of motion sickness. I feel for you.”

The roller coast that is our life with Archie continues to take corkscrew like twists and turns.  We managed to find an OT that can see her at the beginning of August so that’s good news.  Her pre-interview check sheet is quite thorough and covers a lot of the areas we’re concerned with so fingers crossed something good will come of it.

We received Archie’s report on the last day of school.  It was written by her lovely old teacher and is potentially the best that she’s received yet.  It still makes me laugh with comments such as “Archie developed an understanding of chess this year.”   Right.  “Archie has an understanding of simple fractions.”  Hmmm…ok.  You don’t know she can do complex fraction work because you don’t ask!

But on the whole, for Archie, it was an excellent report.

Then yesterday I get voicemail from Mrs T – our friend and Archie’s teacher from last year.  Ring me – she demands – I have VERY exciting news.

We played telephone tag for the next couple of hours but when we finally caught up she did indeed have very exciting news.  At the end of last year she began grooming several teachers to see which would be best for Archie this year.  Her top pick was a good friend of hers who “was excited about the opportunity to work with Archie.”  Sadly, classes were collapsed and others were changed and her friend missed out on the class.

Well – she’s got it now!  She’s been given the class for the rest of the year.  She is also meeting with our wonderful Mrs T for lunch today to get information on Archie.  It looks like we’ll have a team of 3 (me, Mrs T, and the new teacher) working in the background for Archie.  This could be VERY good.

So we dip and dive again and live in eternal hope that we may at least get a great 6 months.  For me, that’ll do for the moment.

Archie’s mum. 

Thank you, all of you, for your wonderful comments, calls, and emails.  I’ve really appreciated and was quite overwhelmed.

Archie got told by the teacher yesterday that she “just has to work harder on her hand writing as it’s the messiest in the class.”

Go the positive motivation techniques love.

The big thing is the pressure of time.  The anxiety that “hurry up” invokes in Archie is incredible.  I asked her to write me something yesterday afternoon.  I was careful to tell her that there was no time constraints and I wasn’t worried about spelling or neatness.  And write she did.  So here it is.  No fancy title, just a few lines by Archie about how she feels at school. 

Long hair
swinging in the breeze
skipping like I have not a care
smelling the flowers everywhere.

I start puffing hard.

Dark clouds hanging over me. 
Bad thoughts pour into my head.

Walking empty streets.  Alone.

The light cuts through the clouds.
People open their doors for me.

Happy and free at last!

By Archie

While I’m pleased with her ability to formulate thoughts, the content of the piece concerns me.  It’s something that I’ll be carefully monitoring and will get her in to see our wonderful Educational Psych if it keeps up.

We’re heading off for a couple of days next week.  BoyWonder has to go on a road trip.  While I was meant to be doing training with my supervisor I need a break more than that.  I’m wrung out and want to escape reality for even just a few days.

Thanks again.

Archie’s Mum

Archie was off school for 3 days again last week.  She complained of a sore tooth on Tuesday night so I had a look and here’s a horrid big abscess.  Off to the local dentists on Wednesday.  The Bulgarian butcher says “we’ll knock her out and rip 6 teeth out”.  I don’t understand why her teeth are so bad.  She has a healthy diet (better than mine at the moment).  She brushes regularly.  Apparently she grinds her teeth.  (As an aside, she’s not going to the Bulgarian butcher for the work…so there’ll be no ripping out of multiple teeth!)

This was on the back of her coming home on Tuesday and again complaining of being harassed by some of the kids at school.  The harassment continued, in class I might add, to the point where she burst into tears.  For Archie, this means that she’d probably sucked it up for a couple of hours.  One of her few friends in class, another little fringe dwelling girl, came to console her and they were then accused of being gay by one of the other charming 4th graders.

I got home on Wednesday with our $1600 quote and saw red.  I rang the school and complained about the amount of stress that Archie is being put under constantly.

That was mistake #1.  I thought they’d care. 

I finally heard back from the Ass. Principal yesterday. She’d had a talk to Archie.  The first words out of this woman’s mouth were “Does Archie enjoy Drama or dramatic productions?”

WTF?  Apparently she said that ALL of the boys were involved in teasing her and that it was ALL of the time.  The insinuation was that she was a drama queen.

Then it went on.  Emotionally immature.  Needs to learn that perhaps she’s equally to blame.  Very young (no shit sherlock).  Causing problems.  Difficult to deal with.  Doesn’t look in people’s eyes.  Hunched over when she talks.  On and on and on and on and on. 

So who’s the victim here? 

Then we started on the handwriting – again. 

We have spent literally thousands of dollars getting handwriting systems from the US shipped over here along with every other type of writing aid you can possibly think of.  Not to mention the countless hours that I’ve sat with her to help her with her handwriting (and other school type work but let’s not get started on that shall we). 

The conversation basically ended with “You need to talk to Archie about HER attitude towards others and especially her attitude towards school work as there’ll be no accommodation for as long as we can’t SEE that she’s learnt the current curriculum.”

So it’s up to us - no make that me as this drama led to an all out war of words between BoyWonder and myself - to fix it.

Again.

Today I’m ringing an occupational therapist.  If nothing else, I want a bloody diagnosis of what I believe (in my limited experience) is most likely dysgraphia or something like it.  The other children saying that they will dob if she doesn’t hurry up and finish her work is no doubt a wonderful motivator for her as well.  Along with the constant reminders that her handwriting is crap and she’s slow.  Whatever it is, I want a knowledgeable professional to label it as a frigging disability because Lord knows then they’ll care.  Perhaps.

I can see why so many of us PG parents give up.  I’m completely wrung out.  I have no emotional energy left for anything at the moment.  I am terrified of what I see my gorgeous, witty, scary smart little human being becoming.  She’s becoming me.

If you’ve written and not got a response from me I’m sorry.  I just can’t deal with the extraneous ‘stuff’ at the moment.  I am attempting to keep it all together along with my honours work.  Exercise and eating have fallen by the wayside. 

I can’t quit.  This little girl’s long term emotional well being depends on me being there with her to get her through this crap.

I do wish that I could run away – even for just a little while.  Then again, we’d still have to come back to the reality that the education system is not designed for children like her.

Archie’s Mum