Archie’s doing a lot of telling me what she knows I want to hear.  Sadly, it appears that very little of it is the true state of affairs.

She’s being pulled out for a maths group with a handful of other kids.  She was telling me about this the other day and said she’d been working with square numbers which she enjoys even if she has known about them for quite some time.  She proudly told me that she got all of the them right and that the teacher they worked with told her how good she was at math.

Nope.  Didn’t happen.  She did get them all right but the teacher didn’t compliment her.

She’s been finishing her work and has been the first one finished.  This is a HUGE step for Archie who is constantly being told off at school for not producing.  Anyway, I thought that things were going well.

The other day after a school, a number of Archie’s friends came out with her with stickers on their chests.  I asked Archie what they were for and she said for finishing their work.  Why didn’t you get one?  Because I never do mum.

Archie’s folder hasn’t moved from the place where it was on the teacher’s desk 2 weeks ago.  Archie’s substitute teacher has told me that she’s struggling with basic concepts that I know she isn’t. 

Archie and I were discussing all of this (especially the stretching of the truth bit) yesterday and she said she was invisible to the teachers.

She’s not a teacher pleaser.  She doesn’t get her work done quickly and then race up for a sticker or a pat on the head.  She doesn’t get acknowledged for trying.  She doesn’t get acknowledged for knowing ‘stuff’.  Thankfully we don’t have behavioural issues as she’s more likely to vague out than act up – so instead of being recognised in any way she gets mostly ignored.  Coupled this with a curriculum that’s inappropriate and a teacher who can’t control the kids in her class, fragile social groups, an understanding of human nature well beyond her years and it makes for a pretty sad little person.

This is what happened to me.  You try…you get ignored…you stop trying.  Either way the outcome is the same.  She’s not learning.  I’m trying to juggle my life, my school, the needs of the other family members, and teaching Archie new information before and after school.

I know that last years teacher, God love her, was confused because Archie didn’t fit the ‘gifted child’ category that Mrs T had learnt about.  This is what amazes me.  You are gifted therefore you’re all the same. 

Here’s news.  We’re not.  There are a vast range of differences between people on the gifted spectrum.  Just like there’s a vast range of differences between people on the less abled spectrum.  Just because 10 people are 6ft tall doesn’t mean they’re all the same in every aspect.  They just happen to have commonalities.  And the problem for kid’s like Archie is that most teachers will never have seen one before.  They’ll have seen lots of bright children.  Lots of kids that want to get their work done and love stickers and A’s and all the rest.  But they wont’ come across many (if any) kids who are light years ahead of their peers and learn for the love of learning – not for any extrinsic award.

I’m over it.  I’m over the whole education system.  I’m over fighting.  I don’t want another 8 years of this.  I’m tired of it already.

Archie’s Mum

Well I’m back!  My hard disk decided to teach me to back up my data on Saturday morning – the hard way…by dying.

So hubby and I have spent the past 5 days recovering the data and then rebuilding my laptop with a new hard drive.  It’s been a fairly stressful time as I’d been stupid and not kept regular backups.

Anyway, that’s all over.

I was thinking the other day about a question that a teacher friend of mine asked me.  The question was:

“What one word sums up what you think teachers should do with kids like Archie?”

One word???  That’s a tall ask.

But the other day as we were driving along it struck me.  The word is:

LISTEN

That’s it.  Why you ask?  Simple.  It’s when these kids speak that you really ‘get’ how different they are.

Example from Archie that helped me to find the answer.  Their substitute teacher is reading them George’s Marvellous Medicine.  Archie recalls reading it ‘a long time ago’ (Kindergarten – just 3 short years!)…but she’s enjoying it as she doesn’t remember much of the detail.  She’s listing the ingredients that are in the medicine and she gets to the end, takes a breath, and says “you know what mum, it should be called George’s LETHAL medicine!”

That was the moment.  She’s 8.  Most kids that age wouldn’t know the word lethal existed let alone use it in such a precise way.  She then went on to tell me “Or murderous, or…or….or…”  She came up with about half a dozen equally fitting words.

That’s when it hit me.  Teacher’s new to the journey of working with PG kids need to learn to LISTEN. Shut your mouth.  Shut your eyes.  Park your prejudices at the door.  And listen.  Get these kids to talk about something they’re passionate about.  And then listen with an open heart and an open mind.

That’s what these kids need from teachers.  They need to be heard.

Hope that you’re all doing well.

Archie’s Mum

Archie’s school bell goes at 14:55 and she normally comes straight out.  Yesterday I sat and waited patiently for her.  And waited.  And waited some more.  By 10 past she still wasn’t out and the playground was almost empty.  Seeing as we were now going to be late to get TeenQueen I figured I’d better go and find out what the hold up was.

Archie and one of her ‘friends’ were chatting with the new teacher, Ms W.  Her friend B waved at me and gave me a hug and Ms. W.   immediately assumed that I was B’s mother.  A shake of the head and a smile and I say nope, that one’s mine and point to Archie.

“OH, YOU’RE Archie’s Mum!”.  Hmmm….I’m not sure if it was said in surprise (as in you’re not what I expected) or if she felt sorry for me :-) 

She’s being good to Archie so far.  Archie collects bit of paper in her desk and it appears that the old teacher let her do it without clearing out her desk for the whole year.  Not good.  Yesterday she couldn’t find a book she needed.  Instead of getting angry Mrs. W. suggested that she and Archie clean it out together.  And they did.  She also mentioned that Archie’s desk looked like a stick-nest rat’s nest!  Looking at images of one this morning I can only imagine.

Archie said that she’s got ‘the folder’ on her desk so hopefully she’s had a flick through it.  She’s also trying to get Archie to look up when she talks – I told her that if she can work out how to do that she’d be the first in 8 years!  Oh, and Archie pulled her copy of Eragon/Eldest to read in reading time yesterday.  Apparently the teacher was a little shocked but didn’t stop her from reading it (lucky for her!).

Anyway, so far so good.  It’ll be a real shame if she’s great with Archie as she’s only there until a permanent replacement is found.

Archie’s Mum

Archie’s new teacher started yesterday.  The jury is still out as to whether Archie is going to like her or not but she seemed relatively pleased with the start yesterday.  She apparently doesn’t take any rubbish from the kids so it will be nice to see some discipline put back into the class.  She’s also organising a class time table so structure should rear her head again too.

The only thing that Archie was confused about was whether she liked the teacher’s attitude towards reading.

Her classroom has a small bookshelf.  The children are free to grab a book during free time or when their work is finished and take it back to their desk.  New Teacher has said she’ll be bringing cushions in for the kids to lounge around on (inviting trouble if you ask me!) and she’s going to obtain more books.  The children are encouraged to bring their own book in though so Archie has taken Eldest in to finish off.

What confused her though is the teacher has said they’ll get 5 minutes first thing after lunch to read.  A bit short according to Archie but better than nothing.  New Teacher then went on to say that if they didn’t behave, they would get another 5 minutes of reading time.

WTF?  Archie and I don’t understand why reading is being used a form of punishment?  Am I so out of touch with the ‘normal’ world that I fail to see that as completely backward?  Don’t we (as a planet) have issues with literacy and a reluctance by a lot of children, especially boys, to read? 

So – should reading be used as a behaviour modification tool?  Archie and I vote no although she is now secretly hoping that the boys are true to form and muck up so that she gets extra reading time

Archie’s Mum

Where did that weekend go?  It seems like we hardly have the time to take a breath before we’re launched full throttle into the next week!

We achieved heaps of things on the weekend.  Saturday morning was given over to cleaning up after a week of laziness.  Our initial plan had been to meet with our educational psych for a catch up on Saturday and then a day trip to visit my folks on Sunday.  Plans changed though so that we were meeting with our psych on Sunday so we headed to the folks Saturday afternoon.  Hubby and I had words about my thesis.  I’m obsessing over small details at the moment and getting stressed by the big details at the same time. 

Me and the group are nowhere near ready to present to the cognitive scientists next Tuesday.  Nowhere near it.  But that’s what we’re doing.  I’ve spent the whole weekend trying to mush my project up into something presentable and I’m desperately hoping that my latest list of questions will satisfy my supervisor.  Anyway, I spent a fair bit of time on Saturday afternoon/evening chatting with my old man about the project and he really helped me express what I was thinking. 

I rang our psych Saturday night to organise a time to meet on Sunday and left a voicemail message for her.  I was pretty despondent by lunchtime on Sunday when I’d not heard back from her.  Around 2ish she rings me and asks why I didn’t call her!  Huh?  Voicemail never went through apparently!

So hubby and I raced home to pick up the MENSA application we need her to sign for Archie and then went and picked her up and whisked her off for coffee.  We had an amazing few hours with her.  I always feel reinvigorated when I’ve spent time with her.  She reminds me of why I’m doing this…why it’s important.  We had a quick chat about my current Honours project and decided that I just need to do it and then pretty much write it off but hopefully she’ll help guide me with a project for next year.

My only other really exciting news is that there’s a conference in July of next year and I mentioned that I’m looking at going to it.  Next thing you know I’m being told I WILL be going to it and that she’ll introduce me to her circle of friends – which includes some of the biggest names in gifted education in Australia.  So I’m feeling very blessed to have such an incredible mentor in my life.

All else is just bubbling along.  I’m looking at an online language program for Archie to try and enrich her at home.  SwitchedOnMom uses Powerspeak so I’m having a go at their free trial to see whether it suits Archie.

Oh, I just remember, Archie and I are off to see David Helfgott in August performing a solo recital.  We thought that seeing as she had just started Piano perhaps this opportunity will inspire her to keep going!  So it’s going to be a girls night out and we might even grab a meal out before the show.

Time to go get my girls from school.

Archie’s Mum

Archie was about 10 minutes late out of class yesterday.  I was getting more and more worried as the playground cleared.  She often hangs back a bit to help straighten the books so 5 or so minutes isn’t cause for concern.  But 10 – hmmm.

I was just walking towards her classroom to see where she was when she came running around the corner.  She’d been in the principal’s office.  Again.

This time though, she was in there with the minor players in the group of 4 girls who’ve been doing the bullying.  At first I was a bit miffed that they’d only spoken to the two hangers on basically.  After speaking to my dear old dad though he suggested that perhaps they’re removing the power base before going after the leaders.  As in scare the heck out of the underlings and the leaders will have nobody to join in with them.

Regardless, the two girls were left in no uncertain terms that this was being taken seriously and that if it happened again then the behaviour policy and levels would be enforced.

One girl cried.  She didn’t want to get in trouble.  Archie assured her that it was only if it happened again.  When she recounted this to me she said “I tried to make her feel better mum by saying it would only happen if she did it again/.”  What the???  This kid has harassed her all freaking year and Archie consoles HER????

Yep – that’s my girl :-)  She’s such an empathic creature that she didn’t want the kid to feel bad.  Personally, I felt like poking my tongue out and childishly saying “SO THERE”. 

The other kid wanted to make sure that her parents weren’t going to be told.  Principal said basically not now, but that’s exactly what will happen if there’s a next time.

There was also a class meeting in the morning where the teacher told them all what bullying was and that it wasn’t just a physical act.  He spoke about what had happened to Archie and that it had gone too far.  Then he gave them the same spiel about the consequences if it occurs to Archie OR to anybody else so they’re not going to just find a new victim.

Archie is happy with what’s happened.  I’ll be happier if the school actually lets me know first hand what’s gone on but I’m not going to hold my breath.  School’s aren’t, in my experience, all that great at getting back to people.  I guess in  part this could be written off as being just busy, but it’s something that really gets up my nose.

So hopefully this is the end of it.  She doesn’t mind being left alone and in fact she prefers it.  It’s just easier that way for her. 

Best get off to class.

Archie’s Mum

It’s been a long day today.  I went in to see my supervisor for an hour this morning and came out of there 4 and a half hours later – without lunch – with a head full of ideas and a fair bit of direction.  I’ve then come home and completely undone all of our work by questioning the very thing I was going to investigate!  ARGH.  Anyway, that’s the way research goes right?

I apparently didn’t completely tick the principal off yesterday.  Archie was eager to tell me this afternoon that the principal had come and taken her out of class to talk about what had been happening to her.

She asked for everything that had been done to her, who had done it, and perhaps most importantly (for me anyway) how it made Archie feel.  So Archie told her.

The principal then said that there will be a class meeting ‘next’ Thursday – we’re not sure if that’s this coming Thursday or Thursday next week so I won’t get upset if nothing happens tomorrow.  During this class meeting the principal will explain to the class what bullying is.  She will then discuss what has been happening to Archie.  Finally, the principal will outline exactly what the consequences will be for anybody who continues with this behaviour towards anyone in general, and Archie specifically.  The principal assured Archie that this time, the consequence will be far more than a simple talking to.

As we drove along I twisted the centre mirror so I could look at her sitting in the back seat.  We were stopped at lights so I told her to look up and look me in the eyes.  I asked her how the principal’s words had made her feel.  Just one word as a response.

protected

So much power in one little word.  Add to that the fact that there was a string quartet performance at school today – well let’s just say that all was right in that little person’s world for a while today.  I love ‘up’ days like this.  To hear her chatter incessantly about the string quartet interjected with the occasional humming of each piece of music they played and to hear her say that she had a great day with a big grin on her face.

I will of course ensure that the words are followed by actions but I swear Archie grew by 2 inches this afternoon.  She now has a promise that something will be done if it happens again and that’s all we set out to do.

So, fingers crossed, battle #1 is done and dusted.

I just hope they’re as agreeable and swift when it comes to academic interventions in a couple of months.

Archie’s Mum

Archie’s teacher is a lovely gent as I’ve stated before.  At our first parent-teacher interview of the year he sat and went on, and on, and on, and on about how brilliant she was.  He hadn’t read any of the folder full of info that I’d put together for the school – he wanted to see what she was for himself.  And that he did.

“The most incredible child I’ve taught in 40 years” he exclaimed.  “I’m not quite sure what I should do for her but I’ll do what I can” he stated.

After he’d read ‘the folder’ of information which includes Stephanie Tolan’s brilliant piece where she draws an analogy of these highly gifted kids and cheetahs, he proclaimed that his classroom was a zoo and that he wasn’t happy with that.  He went home and told his wife (who is also a public school teacher) that she was a zoo keeper as well and the cheetah’s needed to run free!

He’s tried to open the cage doors for our little cheetah.  It would have been nice if it had been a bit more structured but he has at least tried.

He’s used a narrative style of teaching to engage her in stories of far away places where he’s worked as an exchange teacher.  He’s picked up on her wicked sense of humour and they’ve shared private jokes.  Jokes aimed at her level rather than everybody else’s.

He realised that making her do pages of maths that she conquered years ago wasn’t going to work so he started to get her to finish just one or two problems at the end of the page and then go on and do something else. 

One day he produced a Year 6 maths book and let her choose a topic out of that.  He was quite surprised when she asked if “Chance and data” was the same as statistics which he of course confirmed.  Archie then spent a glorious hour working on probability.  Mr E asked me that afternoon if Archie was going to be a bookie when she grew up!  Sadly, these moments of doing above year level maths have been few and far between.

Yesterday he had another momentary flash of brilliance with the Venn diagram that I mentioned.  He’s chosen books that have taught her both history and shown her what courageous humans can achieve – like Helen Keller and Louis Braille.

Is it perfect?  No, not at all.  Is it better than we’ve had previously…yeah, it is.  The big thing has been his obvious love for her.  Sure, he handled the bullying issue badly but I think he is one of those eternally optimistic people who believe that everyone can really get along and there’s no need for all of that formal nonsense. 

We’ll miss him in as much as to a greater extent Archie feels truly accepted by him - a feeling she’s not really had before.  The receiving grade skip teacher resented her.  Her kindy teacher outright hated her.  She loved her teacher last year, our friend Mrs T, who did everything she could for Archie – extra language classes, extra science classes, special books.  But there is something special about this guy this year.  Maybe it’s the fact that he’s older and he’s quite grandfatherly.  Archie says it’s also because he smiles more and she likes that.

So what’s the perfect teacher for a PG kid?  Suggestions?

Archie’s Mum

I’d never met the principal before, so that was an experience in itself.

I could ramble for hours but in a nutshell the principal said that the behaviour goes against the schools core values of, amongst other things, respect and caring.  A line has been drawn in the sand and we’re moving on from here.  She’s already spoken to the class teacher and discussed a few things.

Serendipitously, it was also a chance for me to talk to her about Archie’s abilities as she didn’t know her and hadn’t read ‘the folder’ about her.  She knew where on the spectrum she sat, but that was it.  So once these social issues are in the bag so to speak, we’re going to tackle the educational aspects.  She totally agreed that the hit miss way that she was being extended was not good enough and she needed more.

It was actually one of the most productive meetings I’ve had as an advocate for my daughter.  We even spoke about homeschooling and how she’d like to keep Archie in the education system but how she could also see why it would be beneficial for Archie.

We talked about Emotional Intelligence (WOW!) and asynchronous development.  We talked about Archie’s need for older friends and we talked about how ‘we’ PG folk see the world in a completely different way and while that wasn’t our fault, it was something that teachers needed to take into consideration.

I think that we got on ok – but seeing as I’m a social retard I’m perhaps not a good judge of that.  Things will happen.  We laughed which is always a good sign I think and we hit a lot of common ground.  Archie will be better off that’s for sure.

I hope that she’s serious about the interventions.  I told her that it wasn’t a sledge at her current teacher as he really is a doll.  In fact today he showed one of his moments of brilliance…he sent Archie home with a massive Venn diagram which had three countries on it – Australia, Antarctica, and the country he and his wife are moving to in the middle east.  He wants her to do a Venn diagram of what’s similar and what isn’t.  It’s fairly easy for Archie but it’s something outside the norm.  She’s already decided that the only common thing to all three is the existence of human life form.

Archie had a good day.  Nobody picked on her.  Some of the kids asked where she’d been yesterday which was nice.  They backed of when she quite manner of factly told them she’d been throwing up bile all weekend.

They did a maths test today – addition and subtraction of 100’s.  Archie and I have been doing this will Shiller Maths for a couple of years now which would usually mean that she’d switch off and not do what she deemed to be baby work.  Thankfully, today she did it, checked over it, and still finished 45 minutes before the rest of the class and was rewarded with getting to read a book.  In the car on the way to get Pelican she proudly told me of this accomplishment and then said you know what Mum, maths is really kind of fun isn’t it?

Yes it is Archie, yes it is.

Thanks to those who’ve emailed me and asked how today went.  I appreciate your thoughts.  If you could all think positive thoughts for a new friend of mine in NZ who is off to advocate for her son tomorrow it’d be appreciated.

Archie’s Mum

Archie slept in this morning.  I mean REALLY slept in for her.  This is a child that for as long as she’s walked the planet she’s been an early riser.  Not this morning.  The virus she had must have really knocked her around as she hauled her sorry butt out of bed at 8am.  Thankfully we live 5 minutes from school so we had plenty of time.

Showered.  Dressed.  Breakfast down the hatch.  Make lunch and recess (I know, I should get organised and do it the night before).  Then synchronise diaries so we both know what we’re up to.  Three notes to hand in to the teacher – two that were supposed to be handed in last Friday.  Plus her new one.  First up is a note explaining her absence yesterday.  Then there’s a personal note to the teacher.

Originally the note was just a quick sorry to see you go, hope that your trip overseas is fulfilling…could you please excuse Archie from physical activity for a few days and call me if she goes downhill.

Our teacher friend, Mrs T, had said not to bother informing him of the incident on Friday or the fact that I had an appointment with the principal this afternoon. 

I lay awake last night tossing and turning.  Archie and I share an incredible sense of justice – of what’s right and what’s wrong.  Me not telling him was wrong.  I swear it’s like Jiminy Cricket sitting in that brain of mine.  3am I’m still laying there ruminating over whether or not I should tell him.

Of course Jiminy won out and literally during the last minute before we headed out the door I was making an addition to the note.  He’s now aware of the incident on Friday.  He’s also aware that I have an appointment with the principal this afternoon to “discuss this ongoing behaviour towards Archie to ensure that it is does not continue” after he’s gone. My closing line was “I trust that you’ll handle this in the appropriate manner while you’re still the teacher as this repeated bullying is causing us great distress.”

Perhaps it will be enough for him to finally do something official.  Perhaps it won’t.  Either which way I’m going to that meeting this afternoon with my list of demands.

So we’re out the door.  Bag…check.  Hat…check.  Notes…check.  As we’re heading down the road I get the “I might spend the day in the library mum, because even if they’re doing their library monitor job they aren’t allowed to leave the desk.”  Yep – these 2 girls are library monitors.  They’ve even contaminated Archie’s idea of heaven on earth – the library.  I told her that was a good idea – she’d be safe there.

I also told her that if they, or anybody else, did anything to her she is to crack the big sad blue eyes and say something to her teacher that included the words please, help me, and make it stop.  I don’t care how she strings that sentence together but she HAS to show her emotions (she’s like me and doesn’t tend to except at home) and she has to get him to see how much it’s hurting her.

I hated dropping her off.  I hated seeing those big blue eyes look up at me – so full of trust.  Am I doing the right thing?  Why is it so difficult?  Why is Australia and specifically my region such a fricking backwater when it comes to Gifted Education? 

This is what cracks me up.  When I worked in the childcare industry I came across so many parents that tried to tell me that Little Johnny was gifted because he did (Insert whatever you want here).  They’d brag, they’d carry on.  They’d shove it down your face and tell anyone who stood still for more than 30 seconds how darn gifted their kid was.

In reality, the parents that I’ve come to know that have really gifted kids don’t say anything.  They’re embarrassed, almost ashamed of what they’ve got.  I know I have been – publically anyway.  Raising these special little humans isn’t always easy either.  Some days it’s downright disheartening and depressing.  Not only do you have incredible intelligence to deal with but you have the overexcitabilities to contend with as well.  OE’s are really something that have to be experienced to be understood.  They colour ever corner of your world.

My new net friend Switched On Mom has the best blog title - The More Child.  That’s what they are.  Just more…of everything.

Now, because it’s my blog and I can, I’m going to brag about my older girl Pelican – her home room teacher nominated her for the Pierre de Coubertin award at her school.  Teacher’s were asked to nominate students who were actively involved in a sport and who displayed the Olympic ideals of fair play and sportsmanship.  I’m not that fussed about the whole sport bit – neither’s Pelican – but it’s recognition of what I’ve always tried to achieve in my girls.  They’re good human beings.

Enough rambling for today.  Half of my day will be spent working on my thesis – the other half on an essay on labelling fledgling psychopaths. 

Archie’s Mum